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Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Valium Can Be Harder To Withdraw from Than Heroin (www.vicemag.com)
This article originally appeared on VICE UK
Weirdly, my Valium addiction didn't start on that holiday. It began when I started to suffer with fatigue in my first job after university. I wasn't paid enough and was too broke to move out of my parents' house. With the stress of living at home, bosses constantly breathing down my neck, and constant whispers of redundancies, I'd often get migraines. My hands would go numb as I typed. I was becoming incredibly anxious, my stressors manifesting in physical ways, but I didn't really have the vocabulary or understanding of mental health conditions then. I just plowed through.
My partying got out of hand at this point—you can wind up craving powerful, out-of-mind experiences when you're young and your day-to-day life has become so defined by work-related anxiety—and with it came Valium. My friends and I all bought it from friends-of-friends, and took it to soften the sharp edges of our comedowns. It was—is—like the world's most luxurious blanket.
Even though I got to a point where I wouldn't embark on a big night out without having the small blue pills on hand, I had absolutely no idea that I was becoming addicted to them. One day, though, I took a Valium at work, which in hindsight was a pivotal moment. In such a short while, the fear and dread had totally evaporated. My headache was gone. I could cope with my overbearing boss and the hundreds of unread emails in my inbox. The constant, creeping feeling that I was going to have a panic attack went away and this is where the cycle truly began.
Of course, Valium and other anti-anxiety benzodiazepine drugs like Xanax aren't just incredibly addictive—you build tolerance to them very quickly. I began taking half a Valium if I was on deadline, but my body soon craved more. It barely touched the sides. Soon, I was taking a 10 mg pill (the strongest dose manufactured) every morning. Within months I was taking 20 to 30 mg every day.
The trouble is, of course, that with increased tolerance to benzos comes decreased normality when you're not taking them. I reached a point where, if I didn't take Valium, I'd feel more panicky than when I first started using them as a crutch. "Benzodiazepines like Valium that are used for managing anxiety actually make anxiety symptoms worse," says Tim Leighton, the director of professional education and research at Action on Addiction. "It's why they're not recommended for long-term use.
Having a constant stream of Valium in your blood begins to numbs you. I found myself doing questionable things with men I barely knew—I once abandoned my mate on holiday for a guy—without worrying about the consequences. And if I did start to question myself, I'd just take another pill.
It all had to come to a head at some point and, oh fuck, did it. L ast Christmas, aged 26, I ordered a bunch of dud pills when I was on holiday from work and that's where it all came crashing down. Within days I was convinced that I was totally and utterly losing my mind. I was free-falling through a range of physical and mental symptoms that, despite popping (fake) pill after fake pill, wouldn't abate. From feeling constantly like I was about to have a panic attack, suffocating paranoia that everyone hated me, agoraphobia, migraines, constant dry retching, uncontrollable sobbing, hot and cold flushes, to heart palpitations—I felt like I was dying.
"Valium can be even harder to come off than the more 'spectacular' drugs like heroin and cocaine," says Leighton. "Withdrawal is entirely dependent on how much you've been taking and for how long, but it is potentially life-threatening. Withdrawal from heroin is not actually life-threatening in itself, but the seizures that can occur with stopping Valium can kill." As I look back, the thought that I could have had a seizure due to my own naivety makes my blood run cold.
The coming months were spent tapering off Valium slowly, thanks to the help of a wonderful, completely nonjudgmental doctor. But getting to the clinic was still the hardest thing I have ever done. The symptoms I'd felt at Christmas came back, albeit less severely. I kept my job—just about—but once I'd finished work each day I could do nothing other than go home, lie on the couch, and let my brain do its thing. I was a paranoid, sweating, sniffling mess, and I felt like I always had the flu. It was a constant struggle to listen to anyone or walk anywhere. My sleep cycle was fucked and I conducted my life in a mist of excuses—friends constantly heard that I was "exhausted" or that a family member had become ill. One snapped, finally, saying, "You always flake on us," which sent me into a bitter spiral of paranoia all over again. But who could blame her?
I had a propensity for anxiety before I started taking Valium, but I'd never experienced panic attacks or their suffocating spiral of negative thinking until I was in the full swing of my addiction. I'd take back the last 12 months in a heartbeat if I could because I feel like, now I've experienced the dark, bleak capacity for despair my mind is capable of, I might never be completely the same. I've felt, and thought, too much.
My only hope is that even if one person reading this who takes Valium recreationally thinks, Yeah, maybe I should lay off it a bit, at least something good can come of my experience. Valium—or any other benzo—is not a joke. It's not a toy. It's not a quick fix for any kind of life stress. It might soften the blow of the odd comedown, but trust me: The more you rely on it, the more powerful it becomes. It's a drug no one can become bigger than.
The author's name has been changed .
Friday, December 5, 2014
Monday, December 1, 2014
DILLINGER FOUR
SELLTHEHOUSESELLTHECARSELLTHEKIDSFORGETITI'MNEVERCOMINGBACKFORGETIT
SONG MENU
I'VE LOST MORE SLEEP THAN I CAN SAY
AND BLURRED THE LINES BETWEEN THE DAYS
POUR MYSELF ANOTHER CUP
PUT ONE OUT LIGHT ANOTHER UP
MY MIND'S STOPPED MAKING ANY SENSE
I'VE LOST TRACK OF THE PRESENT TENSE
DON'T WANNA LEAVE, DON'T WANNA STAY
I'D KILL TO BRING BACK YESTERDAY
FOLDED UP AND LEFT FOR DAD
THE THINGS I WISH I WOULD'VE SAID
THE TIMES I SHOULD'VE TURNED AND RUN
BUT THE DAMAGE WAS ALREADY DONE
AND I DUG MYSELF A DEEPER HOLE
RAKED MYSELF OVER THE COALS
REASON BRINGS REDEMPTION
BUT REDEMPTION WON'T BE MIND
SUPPRESSED MY FRUSTATION
BUT IT RETURNED
LOST IN THE TRANSLATION
I'M NOT CONCERNED
SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM
CAUSE WE'RE NEVER GONNA LEARN
AND DANCE UPON THE ASHES OF THIS WORLD
GOT HOURS MORE AND MILES TO GO
I FEEL THE CLOCK BEGIN TO SLOW
PLAY THE HAND THAT I WAS DEALT
BY THE ENEMY THAT IS MYSELF
IF I DON'T GET OUT FROM UNDER THIS
I MIGHT NEVER KNOW WHAT I FUCKING MISSED
I'M AT THE BREAKING POINT
BUT DON'T KNOW WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE
I'M TICKING LIKE A FUCKING BOMB
HAD THE BEST OF INTENTIONS
MY RESOLVE OUTLASTS MY APPREHENSIONS
WON'T BE THE FIRST TIME
NOT GONNA BE THE LAST
I LOOKED AHEAD THROUGH BLEARY EYES
AND WONDERED WHAT WAS LEFT
WONDERED WILL I PASS THE TEST
I'VE LOST MYSELF AND FOUND MYSELF
AND THEN I LOST IT ALL AGAIN
IT COMES DOWN TO ME IN THE END
THE MORE I KNOW
THE LESS I COMPREHEND
IT COMES DOWN TO ME IN THE END
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Charles Bukowski-'2 Flies'
2 Flies
The flies are angry bits of life;
why are they so angry?
it seems they want more,
it seems almost as if they
are angry
that they are flies;
it is not my fault;
I sit in the room
with them
and they taunt me
with their agony;
it is as if they were
loose chunks of soul
left out of somewhere;
I try to read a paper
but they will not let me
be;
one seems to go in half-circles
high along the wall,
throwing a miserable sound
upon my head;
the other one, the smaller one
stays near and teases my hand,
saying nothing,
rising, dropping
crawling near;
what god puts these
lost things upon me?
other men suffer dictates of
empire, tragic love…
I suffer
insects…
I wave at the little one
which only seems to revive
his impulse to challenge:
he circles swifter,
nearer, even making
a fly-sound,
and one above
catching a sense of the new
whirling, he too, in excitement,
speeds his flight,
drops down suddenly
in a cuff of noise
and they join
in circling my hand,
strumming the base
of the lampshade
until some man-thing
in me
will take no more
unholiness
and I strike
with the rolled-up-paper -
missing! -
striking,
striking,
they break in discord,
some message lost between them,
and I get the big one
first, and he kicks on his back
flicking his legs
like an angry whore,
and I come down again
with my paper club
and he is a smear
of fly-ugliness;
the little one circles high
now, quiet and swift,
almost invisible;
he does not come near
my hand again;
he is tamed and
inaccessible; I leave
him be, he leaves me
be;
the paper, of course,
is ruined;
something has happened,
something has soiled my
day,
sometimes it does not
take man
or a woman,
only something alive;
I sit and watch
the small one;
we are woven together
in the air
and the living;
it is late
for both of us. -Charles Bukowski
why are they so angry?
it seems they want more,
it seems almost as if they
are angry
that they are flies;
it is not my fault;
I sit in the room
with them
and they taunt me
with their agony;
it is as if they were
loose chunks of soul
left out of somewhere;
I try to read a paper
but they will not let me
be;
one seems to go in half-circles
high along the wall,
throwing a miserable sound
upon my head;
the other one, the smaller one
stays near and teases my hand,
saying nothing,
rising, dropping
crawling near;
what god puts these
lost things upon me?
other men suffer dictates of
empire, tragic love…
I suffer
insects…
I wave at the little one
which only seems to revive
his impulse to challenge:
he circles swifter,
nearer, even making
a fly-sound,
and one above
catching a sense of the new
whirling, he too, in excitement,
speeds his flight,
drops down suddenly
in a cuff of noise
and they join
in circling my hand,
strumming the base
of the lampshade
until some man-thing
in me
will take no more
unholiness
and I strike
with the rolled-up-paper -
missing! -
striking,
striking,
they break in discord,
some message lost between them,
and I get the big one
first, and he kicks on his back
flicking his legs
like an angry whore,
and I come down again
with my paper club
and he is a smear
of fly-ugliness;
the little one circles high
now, quiet and swift,
almost invisible;
he does not come near
my hand again;
he is tamed and
inaccessible; I leave
him be, he leaves me
be;
the paper, of course,
is ruined;
something has happened,
something has soiled my
day,
sometimes it does not
take man
or a woman,
only something alive;
I sit and watch
the small one;
we are woven together
in the air
and the living;
it is late
for both of us. -Charles Bukowski
Dead Kennedys and 'Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables' download
Dead Kennedys
Liberated from: http://soulmonium.blogspot.com/
Their music mixed the more experimental elements of British 1970s punk with the raw energy of the 1980s American hardcore punk scene. Dead Kennedys' songs mixed deliberately extreme lyrics with satire, sarcasm, and irony of social and political issues of the 1980s.
In the mid-1980s, the band was embroiled in an obscenity trial in the United States over the artwork of their album Frankenchrist (1985), which included the explicit titular subject of H. R. Giger's Penis Landscape. The band was charged with distribution of harmful matter to minors, but the trial ended with a hung jury.
Dead Kennedys released five studio albums before disbanding in 1986. In 2001, the band reformed without original singer Jello Biafra, who had been in a legal dispute with the other members over royalties.
The band played three performances in October 2010. At one of the concerts, they debuted their first new song since 1986, "You're Such a Fake".
Since the dissolution of Dead Kennedys, Biafra has continued to collaborate and record with other artists, including Mojo Nixon, Al Jourgensen of Ministry, and the Melvins, and has become a spoken word performer, covering political topics in particular.
Dead Kennedys played numerous shows at local venues afterwards. Due to the provocative name of the band, they sometimes played under pseudonyms, including "The DK's", "The Sharks", "The Creamsicles" and "The Pink Twinkies". The band's real name generated controversy. Wrote San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen in November 1978, "Just when you think tastelessness has reached its nadir, along comes a punk rock group called The Dead Kennedys, which will play at Mabuhay Gardens on Nov. 22, the 15th anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination. Despite mounting protests, the owner of Mabuhay says 'I can't cancel them NOW — there's a contract.' Not, apparently, the kind of contract some people have in mind." However, despite popular belief, the name was not meant to insult the Kennedy family, but to quote Biafra, "to bring attention to the end of the American Dream".
6025 left the band in March 1979. In June, the band released their first single, "California Über Alles", on the independent label Alternative Tentacles. The band followed with a well received East Coast tour.
The band, who all wore white shirts with a big, black S painted on the front, pulled black ties from around the backs of their necks to form a dollar sign, then started playing a new song entitled "Pull My Strings", a barbed, satirical attack on the ethics of the mainstream music industry, which contained the lyrics, "Is my cock big enough, is my brain small enough, for you to make me a star?". The song also referenced The Knack's song "My Sharona". "Pull My Strings" was never recorded for a studio release, though the performance at the Bay Area Music Awards, which was the first and only time the song was ever performed, was released on the band's compilation album Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death.
In August 2010 the Dead Kennedys announced plans for a short East Coast tour. This lineup assembled for this tour contained East Bay Ray, Peligro, Greer, and bassist Greg Reeves replacing Flouride, who was taking "personal time off" from the band. The tour dates will include performances in Philadelphia, New York City, Boston, Washington, D.C., Portland, Maine and Hawaii.
Musically, Fresh Fruit laid the blueprint for future Kennedy's releases: loud, noisy, fast, but with a sense of dynamics and musical individualism. The surf and rockabilly-inspired riffs owe something to the Ramones' most influential recordings, drawing from early American AM pop and rehashing it in the immediate, aggressive context of punk rock. The lyrics lend a significant bite to the breakthrough of the already strident musical assault. On the original vinyl version Side A was tracks 1-7 and Side B was tracks 8-14. The songs on Fresh Fruit were recorded live with minimal overdubs limited to vocals and the addition of rhythm guitar in places.
The photo on the front cover, showing several police cars on fire, was taken during the "White Night Riots" of 21 May 1979, that resulted from the light sentence given to former San Francisco City Supervisor Dan White for the murder of Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk.
Musically, many different elements bubble to the surface on Plastic Surgery Disasters, including surf-rock, oddly psychedelic guitar textures, and traditional film music, including sections and guitar fills that resemble Ennio Morricone spaghetti western scores. These elements are not always immediately apparent under the high-speed thrash of music, but they are an indication of the Kennedys' musical uniqueness. The DKs would further these elements, to some extent, on their next release, 1985's Frankenchrist.
On the 2001 Manifesto release of the album, the beginning of "Government Flu" is a separate track entitled "Advice from Christmas Past". There is also a typing error on the Manifesto CDs so that "Bleed for Me" is entitled "Bleed for". On the original vinyl version, Side A was tracks 1-8 and Side B was tracks 9-14. Some vinyl versions have Side One as tracks 1-9 and Side Two as tracks 10-14.
The album was a subject of controversy because of a poster inserted in the original record sleeve. The poster, H. R. Giger's Landscape #XX, or Penis Landscape, was a painting depicting rows of penises and vulvas. The band was brought to trial for distributing harmful matter to minors, and though the case did not result in a conviction, Jello Biafra's Alternative Tentacles was driven almost to bankruptcy. Only through the support of fans was the label able to stay alive. Biafra gained attention as a champion of free speech, and was subsequently one of the most active opponents of the Parents Music Resource Center. The cover itself depicts a Shriners parade.
The album is an example of the progressive, psychedelic side of the Kennedys' musical personality. The spaghetti western soundtrack influence is also noticeable in the horn parts and in East Bay Ray's atmospheric guitar work. Frankenchrist is noted for its relative lack of traditionally 'hardcore' material. Most of the songs are slower and longer than the majority of other Dead Kennedys songs. "M.T.V. − Get off the Air" is notable for its pointed slam of the music establishment and "Stars and Stripes of Corruption" for its exegesis of Biafra's political philosophies.
The East Bay punk band Isocracy parodied the name in their 1988 EP, Bedtime for Isocracy. The cover art depicted the band together in a bed, accompanied by Jello Biafra.
DEAD KENNEDYS
Dead Kennedys are an American punk rock band formed in San Francisco, California in 1978. The band became part of the American hardcore punk movement of the early 1980s. They gained a large underground fanbase in the international punk music scene.
Their music mixed the more experimental elements of British 1970s punk with the raw energy of the 1980s American hardcore punk scene. Dead Kennedys' songs mixed deliberately extreme lyrics with satire, sarcasm, and irony of social and political issues of the 1980s.
In the mid-1980s, the band was embroiled in an obscenity trial in the United States over the artwork of their album Frankenchrist (1985), which included the explicit titular subject of H. R. Giger's Penis Landscape. The band was charged with distribution of harmful matter to minors, but the trial ended with a hung jury.
Dead Kennedys released five studio albums before disbanding in 1986. In 2001, the band reformed without original singer Jello Biafra, who had been in a legal dispute with the other members over royalties.
The band played three performances in October 2010. At one of the concerts, they debuted their first new song since 1986, "You're Such a Fake".
Since the dissolution of Dead Kennedys, Biafra has continued to collaborate and record with other artists, including Mojo Nixon, Al Jourgensen of Ministry, and the Melvins, and has become a spoken word performer, covering political topics in particular.
Dead Kennedys formed in June 1978 in San Francisco, California, when East Bay Ray (Raymond Pepperell) advertised for bandmates in the newspaper The Recycler, after seeing a ska-punk show at Mabuhay Gardens in San Francisco. The original band lineup consisted of Jello Biafra (Eric Reed Boucher) on vocals, East Bay Ray on guitar, Klaus Flouride (Geoffrey Lyall) on bass, and Ted (Bruce Slesinger) on drums and percussion. This lineup recorded their first demos. In early to mid July, the band recruited 6025 (Carlos Cadona) as a secondary guitarist. Their first show was on July 19, 1978, at the Mabuhay Gardens in San Francisco, California.
Dead Kennedys played numerous shows at local venues afterwards. Due to the provocative name of the band, they sometimes played under pseudonyms, including "The DK's", "The Sharks", "The Creamsicles" and "The Pink Twinkies". The band's real name generated controversy. Wrote San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen in November 1978, "Just when you think tastelessness has reached its nadir, along comes a punk rock group called The Dead Kennedys, which will play at Mabuhay Gardens on Nov. 22, the 15th anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination. Despite mounting protests, the owner of Mabuhay says 'I can't cancel them NOW — there's a contract.' Not, apparently, the kind of contract some people have in mind." However, despite popular belief, the name was not meant to insult the Kennedy family, but to quote Biafra, "to bring attention to the end of the American Dream".
On March 25, 1980, Dead Kennedys were invited to perform at the Bay Area Music Awards in San Francisco to major record label artists to give the event some "New Wave credibility", in the words of the organizers. The day of the performance was spent practicing the song they were asked to play, the underground hit, "California Über Alles". In typically subversive, perverse style, the band became the talking point of the ceremony when after about 15 seconds into the song, Biafra said, "Hold it! We've gotta prove that we're adults now. We're not a punk rock band, we're a new wave band."
The band, who all wore white shirts with a big, black S painted on the front, pulled black ties from around the backs of their necks to form a dollar sign, then started playing a new song entitled "Pull My Strings", a barbed, satirical attack on the ethics of the mainstream music industry, which contained the lyrics, "Is my cock big enough, is my brain small enough, for you to make me a star?". The song also referenced The Knack's song "My Sharona". "Pull My Strings" was never recorded for a studio release, though the performance at the Bay Area Music Awards, which was the first and only time the song was ever performed, was released on the band's compilation album Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death.
On August 21, 2008, the band announced an extended break from touring due to the health-related issues of Flouride and Peligro. They stated their plans to collaborate on new projects. The band performed a gig in Santa Rosa, California in June 2009, with Peligro returning to the drum kit.
In August 2010 the Dead Kennedys announced plans for a short East Coast tour. This lineup assembled for this tour contained East Bay Ray, Peligro, Greer, and bassist Greg Reeves replacing Flouride, who was taking "personal time off" from the band. The tour dates will include performances in Philadelphia, New York City, Boston, Washington, D.C., Portland, Maine and Hawaii.
The Dead Kennedys performed what appears to be their first new song in 24 years, "You're Such a Fake", during their October 16, 2010, concert at the Rock and Roll Hotel in Washington, D.C. In addition, the band played a reworked version of the old song "MTV Get Off the Air", now re-titled "MP3 Get Off the Web", with lyrics that were "changed to be about people downloading MP3s and how much they suck for doing it."
The original logo was created by Winston Smith. He later contributed artwork for the covers of In God We Trust, Inc., Plastic Surgery Disasters, Frankenchrist, Bedtime for Democracy, Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death, the back cover of the "Kill the Poor" single and the Alternative Tentacles logo. When asked about the "DK" logo in an interview, Jello Biafra explained, "...I wanted to make sure it was something simple and easy to spray-paint so people would graffiti it all over the place, and then I showed it to Winston Smith. He played around with it, came back with a bunch of designs that had the circle and slightly 3-D looking letters and he had ones with different patterns behind it. I liked the one with bricks, but ultimately I thought simple red behind it was the boldest and the best."
Dead Kennedys were noted for the harshness of their lyrics, which generally combined biting social satire while expressing a staunchly left-wing view of contemporary America. Unlike other leftist punk bands who use more direct sloganeering, Dead Kennedys' lyrics were often snide. For example, "Holiday in Cambodia" is a multi-layered satire targeting both yuppies and Cambodia's then-current communist Khmer Rouge regime.
Legal conflicts:
In the late 1990s, former band members discovered problems with the amount of payments which each band member had received from their record label Alternative Tentacles. Former band members claimed that Jello Biafra had conspired to pay lower royalty rates to the band members. Although both sides agreed that the failure to pay these royalties was an accounting mistake, they were upset that Biafra failed to inform the band of the mistake after he and his co-workers discovered it.
Biafra claims that their lawyers had told him only to correspond through lawyers and not directly with the band, as the conflict over payment had apparently arisen before the accounting mistake was discovered. Both sides claim they attempted to resolve the matter without legal action, but the ultimately complicated legal dispute (involving royalties, publishing rights, and a number of other issues) soon led to the courts, where Biafra was found liable for the royalties after the jury determined that he had committed fraud and malice, and was ordered to pay damages of nearly $200,000, including $20,000 in punitive damages, to the band members.
Malice was defined for the jury as "conduct which is intended to cause injury or despicable conduct which is carried with a willful and conscious disregard for the rights of others". Biafra's appeal was denied; he had to pay the outstanding royalties and punitive damages, and was forced to hand over the rights to the majority of Dead Kennedys' back catalogue to the Decay Music partnership.
The jury and judges also noted, in their words, that Biafra “lacked credibility” on the songwriting issue and found from evidence presented by both sides that the songwriting credits were due to the entire band, using a clause in the band's written partnership giving a small share of every Dead Kennedys song royalty directly to the band partnership.
Biafra had received sole songwriting credit for most Dead Kennedys songs on all released albums for the last 20 years or so without complaints from the band, though a minority of songs had given credit to certain group members or the entire band as a whole, indicating a system designed to reflect the primary composers rather than a regimented system like the Jagger/Richards partnership; today, most Kennedys reissues list the songwriters as "Biafra, Dead Kennedys", indicating Biafra's lyrical contributions—which the band doesn't dispute, or else simply as "Dead Kennedys"). Ray, Flouride and Peligro found new distribution through another label, Manifesto Records.
This dispute was hotly contested by all concerned who felt passionately for their cause, and the case caused minor waves within punk circles. Biafra claims that guitarist East Bay Ray had long expressed displeasure with Alternative Tentacles and with the amount of money he received from them, thus the original incentive for the discovery of the back payments. It was found out that Alternative Tentacles was paying Dead Kennedys less per CD than all the other bands, including Biafra himself, and not informing his other bandmates, which was the fraud. Biafra accused the band of wanting to license the famous Dead Kennedys song "Holiday in Cambodia" for use in a Levi's jeans commercial, which the band denied.
Biafra apparently pushed this issue in court, although there was no hard evidence and the jurors were apparently unconcerned with corporate use of independently produced political music. Biafra would later complain that the jury was not sympathetic toward underground music and punk culture. The song never appeared in a Levi's commercial, although in interviews Biafra described the situation surrounding the commercial in detail and was able to give specifics about the advertisement, including the name of the advertising agency that had created the commercial's script.
Biafra's former bandmates maintain that they sued because of Jello Biafra's deliberate withholding of money, though when pressed they have acknowledged that the payment was an accounting mistake, but insist that Biafra was wrong in failing to inform the band directly. Details about this issue remain scarce. The band also maintains that the Levi's story was completely fictitious and invented by Biafra to discredit them. Ultimately, these issues have led to a souring of relationships with the erstwhile bandmates, who still have not resolved their personal differences as of 2008.
Members:
Current members:
- East Bay Ray – guitar (1978–1986, 2001–present)
- Klaus Flouride – bass (1978–1986, 2001–2010, 2011–present)
- D. H. Peligro – drums (1981–1986, 2001–2008, 2009–present)
- Ron "Skip" Greer – vocals (2008–present)
Former members:
- Jello Biafra – vocals (1978–1986)
- 6025 – rhythm guitar (1978–1979)
- Ted – drums (1978–1981)
- Brandon Cruz – vocals (2001–2003)
- Jeff Penalty – vocals (2003–2008)
- Dave Scheff – drums (2008)
- Greg Reeves – bass (2010–2011)
Discography:
FRESH FRUIT FOR ROTTING VEGETABLES
(1980)
Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables is the debut album by the American hardcore punk band Dead Kennedys. It was released in September 1980 through Faulty Products in the United States (later by the DK's own Alternative Tentacles label) and through Cherry Red Records in the United Kingdom. It has been certified by BPI gold. The best selling and generally the most critically acclaimed album by the Dead Kennedys, Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables has become a major staple of American punk.
Lead vocalist Jello Biafra's strong political statements on songs such as "California Über Alles" and "When Ya Get Drafted", launched the Dead Kennedys into the political arena.
Musically, Fresh Fruit laid the blueprint for future Kennedy's releases: loud, noisy, fast, but with a sense of dynamics and musical individualism. The surf and rockabilly-inspired riffs owe something to the Ramones' most influential recordings, drawing from early American AM pop and rehashing it in the immediate, aggressive context of punk rock. The lyrics lend a significant bite to the breakthrough of the already strident musical assault. On the original vinyl version Side A was tracks 1-7 and Side B was tracks 8-14. The songs on Fresh Fruit were recorded live with minimal overdubs limited to vocals and the addition of rhythm guitar in places.
The photo on the front cover, showing several police cars on fire, was taken during the "White Night Riots" of 21 May 1979, that resulted from the light sentence given to former San Francisco City Supervisor Dan White for the murder of Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk.
IN GOD WE TRUST, INC
(1981)
In God We Trust, Inc. is a hardcore punk EP by the Dead Kennedys; it is now reissued with the Plastic Surgery Disasters album. The thrashing, lightning-fast beats and shouted (often jumbled) vocals, on the first six tracks, resembles Washington D.C.'s punk bands of the time; more than on any other Dead Kennedys release, the music here is conventionally "hardcore." The album spends the first two tracks attacking organized religion before going on to attack such diverse topics as Neo Nazis, President Ronald Reagan, the pesticide Kepone, and the kind of governmental indifference that vastly worsened the effects of catastrophes like the Minamata disease. "We've Got a Bigger Problem Now" is a lounge jazz remake of "California Über Alles" from the previous album with Ronald Reagan instated in place of Jerry Brown. The EP also includes a cover of the theme song from the 1960s show, Rawhide. On the original vinyl version, Side A was tracks 1-5 and Side B was tracks 6-8. On the original cassette version, Side A contained all 8 songs, with Side B being left intentionally blank. Printed on Side B was the explanation, "Home taping is killing record industry profits! We left this side blank so you can help."
During 1980 and 1981 the American punk scene saw an influx of 7" EPs from Washington D.C.'s Dischord Records from bands like Minor Threat and Teen Idles. These little high-tempo records packed in 7 to 10 songs each and helped define the 1980s genre of hardcore punk. In wanting to pay tribute to this faster form of punk rock, and to showcase the talents of their new drummer D.H. Peligro, the Dead Kennedys put together some new material and amped up a few songs that had only been heard on their 1978 demo and in early live shows. These songs became the basis for In God We Trust, Inc. Keeping with the rough-hewn style of D.C. hardcore, bits of tape leads announcing the take number and including drumstick clicks and count-offs precede many of the record's songs.
PLASTIC SURGERY DISASTERS
(1982)
Plastic Surgery Disasters is the second album released by the Dead Kennedys. It has been reissued with the EP In God We Trust, Inc., which are the last eight tracks on the CD. The cover photo is "Hands" by photographer Michael Wells. The same photo was used by other San Francisco based punk band Society Dog for their EP .....Off of the Leash, released in 1981. The inside cover art features Winston Smith's collages.
Musically, many different elements bubble to the surface on Plastic Surgery Disasters, including surf-rock, oddly psychedelic guitar textures, and traditional film music, including sections and guitar fills that resemble Ennio Morricone spaghetti western scores. These elements are not always immediately apparent under the high-speed thrash of music, but they are an indication of the Kennedys' musical uniqueness. The DKs would further these elements, to some extent, on their next release, 1985's Frankenchrist.
On the 2001 Manifesto release of the album, the beginning of "Government Flu" is a separate track entitled "Advice from Christmas Past". There is also a typing error on the Manifesto CDs so that "Bleed for Me" is entitled "Bleed for". On the original vinyl version, Side A was tracks 1-8 and Side B was tracks 9-14. Some vinyl versions have Side One as tracks 1-9 and Side Two as tracks 10-14.
FRANKENCHRIST
(1985)
Frankenchrist is the third album released by the American hardcore punk band Dead Kennedys in 1985 on Alternative Tentacles.
The album was a subject of controversy because of a poster inserted in the original record sleeve. The poster, H. R. Giger's Landscape #XX, or Penis Landscape, was a painting depicting rows of penises and vulvas. The band was brought to trial for distributing harmful matter to minors, and though the case did not result in a conviction, Jello Biafra's Alternative Tentacles was driven almost to bankruptcy. Only through the support of fans was the label able to stay alive. Biafra gained attention as a champion of free speech, and was subsequently one of the most active opponents of the Parents Music Resource Center. The cover itself depicts a Shriners parade.
The album is an example of the progressive, psychedelic side of the Kennedys' musical personality. The spaghetti western soundtrack influence is also noticeable in the horn parts and in East Bay Ray's atmospheric guitar work. Frankenchrist is noted for its relative lack of traditionally 'hardcore' material. Most of the songs are slower and longer than the majority of other Dead Kennedys songs. "M.T.V. − Get off the Air" is notable for its pointed slam of the music establishment and "Stars and Stripes of Corruption" for its exegesis of Biafra's political philosophies.
BEDTIME FOR DEMOCRACY
(1986)
Bedtime for Democracy is the fourth album released by Dead Kennedys. Songs on this album cover such common punk subjects as conformity, Reaganomics, the military, and even criticizing aspects of their own punk movement. The title of the album is a reference to the 1951 comedy film, Bedtime for Bonzo starring Ronald Reagan. There is a typing error on the Manifesto CDs so that the time length for Gone with My Wind is printed ":43" when it should read "1:43". On the original vinyl version, Side A was tracks 1-11 and Side B was tracks 12-21. It also came with a mock periodical in the form of a thin newspaper made up of collage art, called "Fuck Facts."
The East Bay punk band Isocracy parodied the name in their 1988 EP, Bedtime for Isocracy. The cover art depicted the band together in a bed, accompanied by Jello Biafra.
And now fellow rockers enjoy some hardcore punk:
Amphetamine Salts and Dextroamphetamine Salts
I've been the orange 20mg fuckers regularly since 1999 except for a 30 month jail bid from 2011-2014. I actually copped them in there too but at $20 each I had to say fuck that. These things have been my savior and my decent.
There were times I'd eat 90 of my 20mg tabs and 90 of my wifes 30mg XR's in 2 weeks without an issue on top of Ressearch Chemical stims and shaker meth. I was also prescribed Klonopin, Ambien, Subutex and assorted bipolar meds.
These days I'm sticking to the amps, k-pins and weed. I do take psychedelics but not on a recreational level but a personal one.
I try, but it's so fucking hard to shake the fucking amps and though my intake is a 100x better they're still there pulling my strings. The only drug that gets me worse is Ketamine. I wont even get into that one.
Fucking wreckage.
I don't know why I'm bitching but maybe its cuz I'm 41 and all-nighters aren't producing pages of writing and ideas anymore just a tired middle-aged man with a pissed off wife.
Fuck you big pharm. thanks for the tweak though!
Friday, November 28, 2014
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Study! Ketamine May Be an Effective Treatment For Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
Researchers have found that ketamine may be an effective treatment for depressed patients with bipolar disorder . A National Institutes of Health study found that the anesthetic which is used illegally as a club drug, provided rapid and sustained relief from anhedonia, a term used to described a person’s inability to experience pleasure from activities that would normally be considered enjoyable.
The National Institute of Mental Health reports: “Within 40 minutes after a single infusion of ketamine, treatment-resistant depressed bipolar disorder patients experienced a reversal of a key symptom – loss of interest in pleasurable activities – which lasted up to 14 days. Brain scans traced the agent’s action to boosted activity in areas at the front and deep in the right hemisphere of the brain.”
Researchers also noted that other depressive symptoms improved within 2 hours and that the anti-anhedonic effect remained significant even in the absence of otherantidepressant effects.
The Process-The Final Apocalypse
THE PROCESS: THE FINAL JUDGEMENT BY R.N. TAYLOR
 Process Founder and Prophet Robert Moore De Grimston | Apocalypse was in the air; an impending feeling of doom. The multi-colored dreams of psychedelia had begun to fade, and for those of us who had crossed it's rainbow bridge, there would be no turning back. The world as we had known and experienced it would never quite seem the same again. The prevailing order of things; the sterile dogmas of organized religion; the Protestant work ethic; the open-ended pursuit of material things, these and a host of other similar assumptions, formerly taken for granted with simple- minded acceptance, now came into question, were scrutinized, dissected and exposed for the " frauds" we felt them to be. But what were these mainstays of our civilization to be replaced with? The music of sixties had served as a simplistic prop for the newly emergent " counter-culture" and it's ill-defined aspirations. But what had gone wrong? We had all sung along with 'All you need is love - love - love,' and joined the chorus |
The much lauded creativity and freedom of this counter-culture; from it's hedonistic sex, it's drug induced visions, day-glow posters, tye-dye clothing, massive musical gatherings and a ' do your own thing' philosophy, had run it's meteoric course and had burned itself out.
The early 1970s were to be it's anti-climax, as run-away inflation, growing corruption and cynicism began to penetrate most segments of society.
American boys were still fighting and dying in this nation's second no-win-war in Asia; the secret police by-way of their COINTELPRO operations ( infiltration, agent provocatuers, frames-ups, armed raids and assasinations ) had been successful in rendering any revolutionary activity, right or left, ineffective and null. Tricky-Dick was our chief administrator and about to live-up to his bad name. Psychedelics had begun to be replaced by other
Into this void came the cults. Ready and eager to fill the existing spiritual vacuum with new visions, new perimeters, new rules and
Zen Buddhism had already made it's debut in the West in the preceding decade by way of the writings of Suzuki and popular writings of Kerouac and Watts. It was further enhanced by a growing interest in various Oriental martial arts. But it did not have the makings of a mass-style movement, and so remained relatively small in numbers and defused.
But the late sixties and early seventies saw a proliferation of odd sects and cults; Christian
By the early 1970s a virtual smorgasbord of religious persuasions could be found on the spiritual menu, ready to to be served-up piping-hot for the lost, the lonely and confused.
The guru-cults appealed principally to the burned-out post-hippie remnants, who suffering psychological displacement and a diminished sense of self, wished only to bury their frayed minds and psyches in some balmy
Conversely, the psychoanalytical cults appealed to that group of youth and young adults with an in-born predilection for entrepreneurship. They were most often the ones who had but recently been small-time drug dealers who " only sold a little to their good friends". They were the ones who wanted all the success and material baubles of the preceding generation, but didn't want to work too hard or wait too long in fulfilling these aspirations. Their personal quest was in pursuit of finding 'sure-fire' methods for realizing these goals of romance, money and social status. The cult leaders of these groups understood the mind-set and aspirations of these types only to well, and knew just how to play these marks for all they were worth. The wheels of their system were to be well oiled with the capital of ambitious, but naive aspirants. Cost for initiate-hood didn't come cheaply. It was measured out in dollars and cents. The aspirant could, however, defray a large portion of these daunting costs by recruiting other fodder for the cult, who would in turn help to make-up the deficit of their own tuitions and costs. All of this was just another variant of the pyramid- scam, a scam that seems to have an almost unflagging and magical appeal to America's middle-class.
These psycho-analytical cults usually worked out of an almost corporate setting. No beards, no bare-feet or other anti-social trappings. Theirs was instead a professional front intended to appeal to and to generate confidence in the eager and ambitious near-do-wells which they attracted.
- 2 - " The Malicious have a dark Happiness." - Victor Hugo
But not all who passed through the proverbial " doors of perception " were of the same disposition. Not all were the jaded children of middle-class affluence, not all lacked a will to power. There were also others of the post-sixties generation whose existence was made less visible in the media or the public eye.This segment of disaffected beings were not thinking the same thoughts or seeing the same visions, nor were they intent upon the same goals as their lost and listless counter-parts were. These were the outsiders. During the preceding decade they had no more upheld the statism and status quo of the conservative-right any more than they had joined in the contagion of the New-Left. These were the metaphysical rebels, Anarchs, Anarchists, occultists and nihilists, who wished a plague on all house!
Their visions were not those of Utopia or Nirvana, but were instead those of Apocalypse and ' End Time.' For them it was not the golden-age of Aquarius, but the dark-age of the Kali-Yuga. Most preferred Buck-knives and revolvers to that of beads and flowers. Initially they were scattered individuals, lacking a leader or an organizational structure, a coherent philosophy or plan of action.
Within the ranks of these disaffected 'outsiders ' were several distinct types best described as Anarcho / individualist and Romantic/Nihilists. Often individuals would share a combination of these basic traits.
The Anarcho / individualists seemed most concerned with their personal liberty and freedoms which might allow them the freedom to ' do their own thing ', unimpeded by restrictive laws imposed by the state. Laws which they felt repressive to their lives and liberty. Theirs was a distrust for authority in particular and a disdain for civilization and it's decadence and complexities in general. Most shared a concern for survival in the not so distant future; nuclear war; revolution; civil or racial strife or domestic tyranny. Most felt by-way of acquired skills and preparations that they would one day crawl out from their survival compounds and retreats as survivors of a new day under the sun. Many of them stock-piled weapons and supplies, trained with firearms and cultivated other military and survival skills and awaited " The Day " of civilizations eminent demise, and it's post-apocalyptic aftermath.
Drawn primarily from urban and rural working class segments of the population, they envisioned a life more basic and less complex. Most viewed the federal government as corrupt and meddling at best. Others believed and proffered conspiratorial theories concerning Mason. Jews, International Bankers or Trilateralist One- Worlders, who they saw as a hidden-hand behind all that was wrong with life as they perceived and experienced it.
Over the next several decades the majority of those of this persuasion would be content to plan, train and prepare. A smaller number would grow impatient and more strident, and move on to more militant, and sometimes revolutionary activity.
The other grouping, the Romantic / Nihilists, would be attracted to the a- morality of occultism, the so-called black arts, and Satanism. This predilection differed little from what many prominent poets, artists and other creative romantics of the previous century had done.
Satanism and occultism have often served as a proverbial loadstone for creative genius, ( i.e.); Charles Baudelaire, J.K. Huysman, William Butler Yeats, August Strindberg, Antonin Artaud, to mention just a few, who have succumbed to it's dark siren call. Reasons for this attraction can be largely found in the diminished or absence of true spirituality in organized religion, as well as a striving for something in closer proximity to the Western Zeitgeist. Add to these factors the sexual and emotional suppression and it is not difficult to understand the allure of such " underground " religion.
One can already detect in the late romantics a growing disposition toward nihilism. Little is left of the soothing melancholia of Keats, or the visionary soaring of Shelley, and it is not difficult to understand why.
If romantics of the past age had felt estrangement and antagonism to the prevailing reality in which they lived, how then might the romantic of this our present age of dialectical materialism and compulsive consumerism react?
The logical outcome of such contraries, of ones inner ideal as opposed to the outer-reality we live in, can hardly lead to anything short of rebellion, world hatred and nihilism. Culminating in an inversion of feelings and thought, in which evil becomes good, power, hatred and resentment supplant faith, hope and charity, and all the attributes of the bourgoise-democratic existence; comfort, conformity, selfishness and cowardice, are viewed with disdain and addressed with invective. This then becomes the world of the outsider and confirmed elitist.
However, this antagonism and eilitist mentality manifests itself in rebellion, not revolution. The true revolutionary has a creed and a program that generates and guides his actions. He wishes to catharize the malignancies he perceives, and proceeds to find the tactics and strategies for attaining power. For he realizes that only through the attainment of power will he be able to reshape or revitalize society or the world in accordance with his visions and beliefs.
Satanism, on the contrary, is largely a personal rebellion. It is an anti- theology. Antithetical to the tenets and beliefs of it's antagonist,Christianity. In it's original form, it would not exist save for the existence of Christianity. In this regard it is reactionary to the utmost. It shares similar prophecies and revelations, an identical time table of linear progression of events all culminating in some grand finale of Apocalypse!
The historical roots of Satanism are largely traceable to the later half of the last century. As a theology or philosophy, Satanism does not draw upon any long-standing tradition or ties with antiquity in the same sense as neo- heathen & pagan beliefs do. Prior to the existence of any organized Satanic sects, many hapless individuals no doubt were the victims of being labeled " Satanic " or in league with the Devil, by the ruling Christian establishment. But such accusations should not be taken seriously, for these sort of labels served as all purpose catch-phrases directed to anyone who threatened or challenged Christianitie's parochial views or secular power. It was a ready epithet of derision and approbation for one's enemies and competitors.
Most modern-day Satanists know all of this well enough. So why Satanism as an alternative to Christianity? Why not a return to a more natural healthy heathenism, one totally divorced from the framework of Christian thinking? Because the classic Satanist is not a healthy pagan, Nietzche's proverbial " yea sayer to life ", but is instead an inverted Christian whose innocence has been wounded, whose romanticism has been betrayed; asceticism degraded, saintliness gone sour, idealism made cynicism. It is not difficult to recognize resentment at the root of this metaphysical rebellion. A resentment born of the realization of 'ones" own singularity and rights as an inviolable individual. This same realization is of course at the root of all rebellion as well as revolution. But in the case of the Satanist this rebellion is born of a realization of 'ones' own impotence in doing anything to actively alleviate whatever inequities or injustices which are felt to exist.
Resentment was perhaps best defined by Fredrich Schiller as an auto- intoxication; the evil secretions in a sealed vessel of prolonged impotence. It is resentment of this type which usually leads to the types of excesses witnessed in the French, Bolshevik and National Socialist Revolutions. Shiller goes on to say further, that resentment always turns into either unscrupulous ambition or bitterness, depending on whether it is implanted in a strong person or a weak one.
It is the nature of the resentful to take delight ( in advance ) of the hoped for pain that it would inflict upon the object of it's hatred. Torture and cruelty have always been the violence of the impotent and cowardly.
This
And who is it that best personifies this resentful actor who fights his enemies from the make-believe battle-field of his ritual chamber, who arrogantly endeavors to command Gods and fate to to do his bidding an fulfill his desires? It is usually the artistic dandy, that narcissistic play-actor who chooses for his command performance that ultimate of all stages - real life!
To live and die before a mirror - that according to The French Poet Baudelaire, is the slogan of the Dandy, For he can only exist by defiance and opposition. And like all who exist without a measure of standards, lacking rules or ethics, he can only be coherent to himself, as well as to others, in some role he has chosen to act out. And that role can only be played before an audience for which to applaud or decry his performance. For his own existence and sense of being or self, can only be established in the expression on other peoples faces. Others must serve as his mirror, a mirror that quickly grows clouded. Therefore he is constantly compelled to astonish and to shock. Singularity his vocation, excess, his road to perfection.
Prominent in his ranks is to be found that seminal figure of the Satanic, the Marquis de Sade, who has commanded so great an influence upon most subsequent Satanists. If ever there was an archetypal personification of the " vessel of sealed resentment" which Shiller so eloquently described, De Sade was it.
De Sades epic maturbatory novels may at first seem intended for little more than his own, as well as his readers, sexual titillation. Upon closer inspection, however, one quickly realizes that for every couple of pages of lurid sexual escapades, there are a dozen or more other pages devoted to outlining his Satanic philosophy and invective toward society. It becomes apparent that de Sades novels are primarily a lure for the reader to be indoctrinated into his nihilism and world hatred.
Even after de Sade, the literati continue to dominate the Satanic scene. The rebellion of the man of letters is singular in it's preference for evil, and forbidden things above all else! When rebellion reaches this junction it is often at the expense of forgetting all positive content. Since God reigns over a world full of death, injustice and inequity, thinks the Satanist, it certainly vindicates, if not the exercise of evil, then certainly the applauding of evil and murder.
It is between Satan and death, in John Milton's Paradise Lost ( That favorite poem of the Romantics ) that symbolizes this struggle. In order to combat the evil of existence, the metaphysical rebel renounces good and once more gives birth to evil. In this way the Satanic hero brings about a religious blending of good and evil. He becomes that most attractive figure ( to the individualistic West ) The fatal hero.
Fate leaves no room for value judgements - it instead replaces any responsibility for them by simply declaring something to the effect of " It is so ", and being so, it becomes a moot point, ethically and morally, thereby excusing everything - everything except of course the creator who from the very start is responsible for the mess that life and the state the world are perceived to be in.
The romantic artist and literati cry-out with Mliton's Satan: " So farewell hope, farewell fear, farewell remorse...evil be thou my good." The final cry of outraged innocence. Since violence and injustice are seen as the ultimate root of all creation - violence and injustice shall be it's answer. Ad here at last, once and for all, any distinction between good and evil is laid to rest.
With these moralistic questions resolved and disposed of, no longer can one derive any intellectual, spiritual or emotional stimulation toying with such abstractions as good and evil. Thus is nihilism born out of this psychological vacuum; thus is murder and mayhem authorized as a necessary vehicle for attaining that frenetic state of mind, which alone can alleviate this boredom born of a-morality.
Frenzy is the reverse of boredom. Exquisite sensibilities evoke the fury of the beast! Exaltation takes the place of truth, and so the Apocalypse becomes an absolute value in which all things are confounded: love, death,conscience and culpability. In a chaotic universe no other life exists than that of the abyss.
At this stage the Satanic rebel has by logical extension chosen the metaphysic of inevitable evil. All is drawn toward the void. Terror and torture, murder and catastrophe become collector's items to be savored vicariously and exalted to the status of revolutionary acts in some vague and defuse revolt against society and God. The serial-killer, the sexual outlaw, the mass-murderer and an endless procession and sociopaths and psychotics become cult-heroes and heroines of the Satanic rebel. Until recent times such thinking was restricted to a small segment of isolated individuals, and was employed primarily for the subject matter of art, drama and literature.
But it was to come to pass in these lesser days of the late Twentieth-Century, that a movement would begin to bring this scattered and disparate force into a semblance of order and action.
- 3 - " Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law." - Aleister Crowley
The groundwork for the present day Occult / Satanic movement had been laid many decades ago. Though there does not appear to exist anything like an unbroken line of descent, there has been a noticeable and consistent process of cross- fertilization. As Schisms and rivalries occur often ( due, no doubt, to the unstable nature of many of those involved and attracted to Satanism and Occultism in general ) new or existent groups will pick-up the remnants of a dissolving group, and continue on with them till the next schism or power struggle occurs. The links between individual personalities is far more pronounced and apparent.
The late 1930s saw a minor occult revival in the U. S.. This revival was focused primarily in that incubator of the absurd and eccentric, southern California. Madame Blavatsky's Theosophical Society, the Rosicrucians and other similar meta[physical and mystical groups became high profile during this period. Most relevant to modern occultism and Satanism was the founding of the Agape Lodge of The Ordo Templis Orientis ( The Temple Of The East ). The OTO was originally founded sometime between 1895 and 1900, by two high ranking German Freemasons, Karl Kellner and Theodor Ruess. The OTO had formed from the Masonic Rites Of memphis and the Miraim, which had in turn been founded by one John Yarker. Yarker had authorized the foundation of a German lodge of this Masonic Rite by contact with Kellner, Ruess and one Dr. Franz Hartman. Hartman was a prominent occultist who had started the german Theosophical Society in 1896, and was linked with various neo-Rosicrucian orders.
The official OTO history claimed that's it's Tantric, or sexual magic practices had been given to it's founders by three eastern adepts. Furthermore that these doctrines were the key which opens all the secrets of Freemasonry, as well as all other religions. Kellner died in 1905 leaving the leadership in the hands of Ruess. Within a short time branches of the order were founded outside of Germany in France, England and Scandinavia. What is known about the background of Ruess is almost archetypal of the many personalities who become leaders of such occult societies.
As a young man he was reputed to have worked as a spy for the Prussian Secret Service. He relocated to London where his mission was to spy on socialist German exiles. He became a member of the Socialist League, whose members included Fredrich Engels and Utopian socialist William Morris. He was eventually exposed and forced to resign from the group.
There were also some connections between the OTO and the Hermetic Order Of The Golden Dawn, whose members included such notables as W.B. Yeats, Macgregor Mathers and other notable personages. One other member of The Golden Dawn was Aleister Crowley, who was to become the OTO leader in England. Crowley however reputedly revealed the inner secrets of the OTO in his writings in ' The Book Of Lies ', which Ruess claimed were coded descriptions of various magico / mystical sexual- rites Crowley replied to Ruess's charges by claiming that the rituals he had described in his book had originated in documents which had once belonged to Adam Weishaupt, founder of the Bavarian Illuminati. Ruess accepted Crowley's defense, and all was apparently forgiven.
Crowley's checkered career has been exhaustively chronicled in many books and articles, as well as by Crowley himself in " The Confessions Of Aleister Crowley ", a 900-plus page volume of vanity, arrogance, exaggeration and Satanic philosophy.
Crowley was given to exploiting weak-willed and troubled individuals for his financial aggrandizement and sexual gratification. His last years were spent in a seedy-English boarding house, and as a victim of a double addiction to heroin and morphine. An odd fate for one who had dubbed himself " The Great Beast 666 " and had entertained aristocratic and elitist pretensions throughout his life. Crowley was however not without talents; as a writer, a mountaineer,a poet and investigator of the arcane - but despite his various aptitudes the totality of his life seemed an ignoble and tragic waste.
The full Chronicle of Crowley is beyond the scope of this article, but sometime after the turn of the century he founded several lodges of the OTO group in the U.S.. Leadership was initially sporadic and changed often. Eventually John Whitesides Parsons, a physical scientist who played a major role in founding the aero-space department at Cal Tech University, was conferred with the leadership of the California OTO lodge.
Eventually, John Whiteside Parsons,a physical scientist who played a major role in founding the Aero-Space Department at Cal-Tech University, was conferred the leadership of the California Lodge of the OTO. Parsons, a native of California, born in 1914, became connected with a fledgling young Sci-Fi writer, L. Ron Hubbard. Hubbard moved in with Parsons, eventually absconding with his wife Maggie. L.. Ron, with Maggies complicity used a large portion of Parsons savings account in purchasing a new yacht. Though understandably angered and upset, Parsons somehow forgave them both their transgressions.
Hubbard himself went on to become a fairly successful Sci-Fi writer and eventually founded the psychoanalytical cult know as Scientology. After Crowley's death, california remained the mecca of his followers activities. Parson continued on with the Agape Lodge until his rather dramatic death in 1952, when he was blown-up in his garage laboratory after accidentally fumbling a case of mercuric fulminate while in the process of hose moving. An interesting side note is that Parsons had a leading role in perfecting the rocket fuel which lead to the first successful lunar landing, and much of the other space exploration of our age. In tribute to his contribution, a lunar crater ( appropriately situated on the dark side of the moon ) was named after him. It can be found approximately at a longitude of 168 degrees, and a latitude of 370 degrees.
Following Parsons abrupt exit, another Crowley stalwart, Karl Germer, became the international head of the OTO, as well as inheriting the copyrights to Crowley's numerous books. Germer was responsible for publishing many of Crowley's out of print and unpublished books. Along with the publishing rights came the inheritance of Crowley's ashes. Eventually leadership of the OTO went to another German national, Herr Metzger.
Another Crowley follower was gerald Gardner, the man most responsible for the modern emergence of Witchcraft or Wicca ( as many of it's present day adherents prefer to call it. Gardner himself had been a fourth-degree initiate of the OTO.
Still another Crowleyan organization ( that was not regarded as orthodox by the official OTO ) was " The Great Brotherhood Of God ", and occult fraternity which owed it's existence to the activities of C.F. Russel, an ex-naval officer who had once resided at Crowley's Thelema Abbey in Cefalu, Italy. This group had originally begun as the Coronzon Club, a society whose advertisements had begun to appear in the occult press as early as the 1930s.
The Choronzon club, named after one of Crowley's devils whom he had invoked in the Algerian desert, changed it's name to the Great Brotherhood of God in the 1930s. They combined a melding of Oto and Golden Dawn rituals, many which were inverted by Russell. Russell was reputed to have been a dabbler in Satanism. Most of the groups teachings and practices were concerned with sexual magik, similar to tantrik practices. Louis T. Culling, a former astrologer and performer on the electric organ published the techniques and practices of he group in two books ' The complete Magik Curriculum of the Secret Order G.B.G." and in ' A manual Of Sex Magik '. Both books had a surprisingly wide sale and influenced other groups and individuals, most them young, who organized under Mr. Culling's leadership, or formed their own groups to study Sex-Magik'. Between 1969 and 1971 the G.B. G. enjoyed a resurgence in activity.
Also during this same period another un-orthodox Crowleyan group became active in the U.S. This was the so-called ' Solar-Lodge of the OTO '. A group led by Georgiana ( jean ) Brayton, the wife of a University of California professor of philosophy. Jean Brayton was born in 1921, and had a long-lasting interest in the occult. At about forty-years old she discovered the writings of Crowley and fell under their influence to such an extent that she began to practice his rituals with a particular fixation upon their darker aspects, which she began to emulate.
The leadership of the Solar-Lodge was apparently eager to gain recruits among the young. In pursuit of that goal they opened ' The Eye Of Horus' bookstore at 947 West Jefferson Boulevard, in close proximity to the university of Southern California campus. It was a small shop, but it's decoration in red and yellow, and it's stylized Egyptian eye in a triangle painted on the outside, attracted a brisk walk-in trade. Some who frequented the store were eventually recruited into the lodge. Before too long the group grew to about fifty members, the majority young and impressionable, but also some older people with respectable professions and jobs. These included Jerry Kay, the art director of the popular cult-film "easy Rider'. and others connected with the arts and entertainment world.
Brayton was reputed to cultivate relationships with
The stories of self-mutilation, child abuse, chicken sacrifices, and drug use abound. At one of her properties at 1251 West Thirteenth street in L.A., Charles Manson and his family were reputed to have been frequent visitors.
The lodge also owned a ranch about four miles from the Colorado River where it conducted it's more secret rituals. On june 10th, 1969 a fire broke out on the ranch. This single event was to prove the demise of the Solar Lodge.
The fire was supposedly started by a six year old son of one of the lodges members Beverly Gibbons. In addition to the main building being burned down a number of animals where also burnt alive in the fire, as well as a number of rare Crowley manuscripts. The boy had his finger-tips burnt with matches and was afterwards placed in a wooden crate in the blistering summer sun of 110 degrees.
Two men who had visited the ranch with the intention of purchasing some horses noticed the child lying in the crate, and outraged telephoned the police. Police raided the ranch and eleven of the lodge members were arrested. Further investigation uncovered the body of a man at first believed to have been murdered, but forensic exams conducted later proved he had died from an overdose of drugs, most probably jimson-weed tea imbibed not doubt, during a cult ritual.
By November 1969 all eleven members of the lodge arrested that June were convicted of felony child abuse charges. Warrants were issued for Jean Brayton and several other high-ranking members of the group who had not been present at the ranch. They fled prosecution and were thought to be hiding-out in Mexico where the lodge supposedly owned property.
Crowley's legacy also began to find it's way into popular culture and entertainment as well. In Robert Heinlein's ' Stranger In A Strange Land ' and in other si-fi and fantasy fiction. The beattles put his photo among the collage of famous on their 'Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band' ' LP cover, as " one of the people we like ". Jimmy Page, lead guitarist of the popular Led Zeppelin rock-band bought a Scottish manor, Buskin House, where Crowley had once lived, which overlooks the brooding waters of Loch Ness. Page also purchased Crowley's ceremonial robe as well. Much of Led Zepplin's early music was infused with occult and Satanic subject matter. During this same period various rock groups such as H.P. Lovecraft, King Crimson and Funkadelic used music with occult and Satanic subject matter.
Do what thou wilt - is the whole of the law " Crowley's famous adage, found ready acceptance in a growing atmosphere of a-morality and nihilism. The evil Crowley had spent most of his life promoting had begun to bear it's poisoned fruit.
4 - " Lex Talionis " - Anton LaVey
On April 30th ( Wulpurgisnacht - 1966, Anton LaVey, the father of modern Satanism, founded his Church Of Satan in San Francisco, California. The Church of Satan was the outgrowth of a small grouping of friends and students with an interest in the occult and paranormal, who formed around LaVey. Among this group were underground filmaker Kenneth Anger and novelist Steven Schneck. So, in 1966 LaVey declared the dawn of the Satanic age and set-up shop in his ' Black House ' ( a Victorian building which had formerly been a speakeasy and brothel.) Thus, the church of Satan became a legally incorporated religious organization, with LeVay as it's high priest and his, then, wife, Diane as high priestess.
Through a series of astute public relations moves The Church Of Satan became Internationally known almost overnight. It began to draw celebrity status in the attraction LaVey and his organization seemed to elicit from such show-biz personalities as singer Barbara McNair and Sammy Davis Jr.. Around this time LaVey conferred an honorary priesthood upon actor Keenan Wynn. Most the Hollywood notables,however, wished to keep their affiliations with the Church secret. Buxom blonde bombshell Jayne Mansfield felt no such reluctance.
Most of the activities, personalities and the chronicling of events of this period of LaVey's church have been covered adequately in numerous books and articles. Likewise with LaVey's own background as a organist, circus performer and so forth. I will instead attempt to deal with the theology or philosophy of LaVey and his creation.
Many of the early applicants were logically attracted to COS based upon the prospects of sex, naughtiness and an abundance of females in the group. Such however was not the modus operandi of the Church. Aside from the nude woman employed as an altar-piece, all else was in the minds eye of the aspirant.
Not only was The Church Of Satan not a vehicle for personal lusts, LaVey went so far as to state that the ' Devil ' or ' Satan ', was not a literal deity, but merely a symbolic metaphor for that which the Christian religion called sin, and which were in LaVey's estimation, nothing more than the healthy and instinctual urges of mankind.
LaVey's teachings can be more accurately described as philosophic and psychological rather than religious. The outward trappings and rituals can be somewhat misleading, in so much as they are not some simple reversal of Christian practices, as was described earlier in this article in reference to classic Satanism. The Church Of satan, explains LaVey, was designed to fill the void between religion and psychiatry, meeting man's inherent need to ritualize, while at the same time providing an honest and rational set of beliefs upon which to base one's life. Likewise his basic approach to magik is not really of the Crowleyite vintage. He has never engaged in extravagant claims on a par with Crowley. His is essentially the magic of knowing and awareness. Knowing how to manipulate one's enviormental factors by way of analyzing people, places and things; saying the right thing at the right time. Techniques, as it were, for gaining ones material and emotional goals.
Satan in the LaVey philosophy is commensurate with man's primal instincts and urges, rather than in a super-natural sense. It is more a philosophy of Social Darwinism coupled with various dictums of taste in music, cinema, and art.
Throughout the early 1970s LaVey's church continued to grow. By 1973 many Grottoes ( as local chapters were called ) were active in many cities in the U.S. and Canada. Most of those attracted to the Church of Satan were no doubt little different form those attracted to elitist and occult societies in general. For those who find their worth within such groups, it often becomes a surrogate reality that supplants th larger mundane world around them. Achievements become based upon titles and pecking order games and controversies create a rich emotional and social life.. These things in turn set the stage for rivalries, animosities and schisms with the larger body or group. Lavey's Church of Satan was to be no exception to this human all too human factor.
Two former Detroit Michigan members, Michael Grumbowski and John Amend founded two splinter groups out of the Church of satan. The Order of the Black Ram ( OBR ) and The Shrine Of The Little Mother. Both endeavored to combine Satanism with quasi-mystical ideas of Aryan racial superiority. The " Shrine " took a more radical departure from it's parent groups doctrines. They employed sacrifices of chickens as a part of their rituals. It is alleged that the late James Madole, founder and leader of the neo-fascist National Renaissance Party attempted to establish ties with the OBR. He also used Church Of satan materials in his occult study units adjacent to his political objectives.
Other politically extreme rightists have seen an ally in LaVey and his Church. LaVey however has distanced himself from most of them and blunted their advances with sarcasm and invective for the most part.
Other schisms have occurred over the years, but few of them have had much longevity. One of the few exceptions has been that of the temple of Set founded and led by Michael Aquino and his wife Lillith Sinclair.
After returning from military duty in Vietnam in 1971, Aquino was ordained into the priesthood of the Church of Satan. Aquino first met LaVey while attending one of LaVey's lectures. He was a U.S. Army intelligence officer specializing in psychological warfare. Shortly after encountering LaVey he and his first wife both joined the Church Of satan. He organized a Grotto in Kentucky, where he was stationed at the time. He proceeded to give lectures on Satanism at the University of Louisville and eventually built up his group to about a dozen followers who regularly attended rituals at his home.
Being a prolific writer, Aquino became a major contributor to the church's official publication of the time, The Cloven Hoof. LaVey was obviously so impressed with Aquino that he promoted him to the rank of Magister IV, one rank below LaVey himself. LaVey commissioned Aquino to author a series of rituals based on the works of horror story writer H.P. Lovecraft. Traditionalist elements criticized these and other rituals invoking gods that did not exist. LaVey countered this by saying that " The purpose of ritual is to invoke emotion. Because there are virtually no satanic rites over one- hundred years old that elicit sufficient response from today's practitioners, if the rites are presented in their original form. LaVey stated further that these critics had missed the point" All gods are fictitious."
Other rituals with similar t sources of inspiration were authored by La Vey from H.G. Wells " The Island Of Dr. Moreau " and Fritz Lang's " Metropolis ".But, in the final analysis, this is not Satanism in the classic Miltonian or Biblical sense, it is instead performance art, intended to create an atmosphere or to entertain. Add to this LaVey's essentially Libertarian philosophy and we are left with something like Aynn Rand's Virtue of Selfishness clothed in Gothic costumes and stage props.LaVey continues to be a personality of sorts doing occasional interviews articles and recordings. Perhaps his greatest significance has been in the overall effect his writings and pronouncements have had upon more independent and obscure individuals and groups who have borrowed from him in organizing their own thoughts and activities.
By 1972, a personal and philosophical rift had occurred between LaVey and his understudy Michael Aquino.
On the eve of the North Solstice, June 21st, 1975, Aquino performed a " magical working " and claimed that Satan appeared to him in the guise of Set, the oryx-headed god of death and destruction, of which Aquino claims is the earliest manifestation of the Christian devil, dating back to 3400 B,C.E..
The outcome, of course, was a document " The Book Of The Coming Forth By Night ", in which Set, according to Aquino, declared " The Aeon Of Set ". The beginning of this Aeon is then traced to 1904, when Set appeared to Aleister Crowley in Cairo, Egypt, in the image of his guardian angel, Aiwass, who declared Crowley the herald of the dawning of the age of Horus. LaVey, according to Aquino, ushered in the the age of Satan, which was but an intermediate stage symbolizing indulgence and was for the purpose of preparing the way for the Aeon of Set, which would become a age of enlightenment.
In true megalomaniac fashion, Aquino was anointed worldwide leader for the new age, as well as being consecrated by Set, as the second incarnation of the Beast 666 ( as prophecised by Crowley in The Book Of The Law.
Aquino accepted this heavy burden from the God ( obviously feeling it was an offer he couldn't refuse.) As a token of his intentions he cut his hair into a widows peak, plucked out his eye-brows and had the numerals 666 tattooed under his scalp An inverted pentagram ( originally a Pythagorian symbol for Phi or the golden ratio ) became the groups symbol. Grottoes became Pylons and degrees similar to the Golden Dawn were adopted. Aquino became Ipssimus, and Lilith Sinclair became Magus. A committee of nine composed of former Church Of Satan Priests was given the power of administrative affairs. The primary difference between The temple of set and The Church Of satan, was that Set, or Satan, was believed in as a literal reality. Absent from this new world leader was any taint of humor. Aquinos adventures in wonderland had begun.
Aquino and the Temple of Set mark a new shift in emphasis in Satanic theology. The appropriation of a deity completely divorced from the Judeo-Christian complex. Instead of the classic Devil or Satan we are now introduced to the Egyptian God of the underworld, Set. others, in time, would appropriate the dark deities of other mythos. For many Loki, the trickster of the Norse pantheon has supplanted Satan. This is of course a further move away from the Biblical "bad guy " Satan. And Ragnorok elbows out the Apocalypse. At this stage the lines between Teutonic tribal religion and Satanism begin to blur. But this is neither the Satan of the Bible or Milton' Paradise Lost. This is no longer the Satan of the French Decadents, which we discussed and dissected earlier in this article.
But there was one group that did fulfill all the attributes of a true Satanic metaphysical rebellion. It was largely independent of these other groups, and it did formulate a truly Satan theology coupled with a true apocalyptian vision. It was The Process, Church Of The Final Judgement. It is within the corpus of their beliefs that we must look to find a true compounding and melding of Christian / Satanic theology.
Article first appeared in EsoTerra #6, 1996
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